Good morning! I crawled out of bed today at 11:30, flipped on the telly, watched Girls Next Door for a while and then decided I should probably check-in on my internet dating. Honestly, I haven't logged on in about 5 days so I'm sure my matches are not happy with me. Basically, if you don't respond within 24 hours to some of these guys, they CLOSE COMMUNICATION with you. The dreaded close. Allow me to briefly explain the close. If you want to end communication with a match, you click on close and then provide a reason (because it's only right). The reasons range from "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" to "You didn't respond to my questions." Then there is my personal favorite, the vague "Other." I'm not trying to get into a heated break-up debate with these guys, so I always select "Other." It's painless for everyone involved. On the flip side, my matches almost always select "You didn't respond to my questions" for the reason they close on me. Hence, why I'm committing one hour today to answering all of their questions. Side note: I did just receive my first "Other" close and I have not stopped over-analyzing what I could have possibly done to get "Other." I mean, does he not like my photos? Do I look fat? Do I sound like a complete moron in my profile? WTF! Ah well...rejection - the online version.
I logged on to find 115 matches and about 30 guys trying to communicate with me. How can one girl juggle all of these men at one time?! I can barely keep the names straight when there are 15 Nicks, 20 Matts, 37 Brians. But there is only one Julius. I don't know if I am communicating with him because his name keeps standing out on my list or because we're actually connecting on the 29 dimensions of compatibility. I wish I could just ring up Dr. Neil Warren and ask him how I'll know when I reach the magical 29th dimension. In the meantime, I keep plugging away through my matches trying to find Mr. Almost Perfect (Mr. Perfect is already taken by Ms. Jolie).
Guys, I have an online dating tip for you. When selecting your profile pictures, make sure you are smiling in them. It might have been cool and badass to keep a straight face in your high school basketball photo, but it's a different ball game when you're trying to woo the ladies. At this stage in the game, no woman wants to date a guy whose profile photo could pass for Nick Nolte's mug shot. We all know that you smile and find things amusing from time to time, so there is no reason to hide it. A nice smile is welcoming and inviting. Most single women are already paranoid enough as it is (deadbolts are a girl's best friend), we don't want to see the guy from "To Catch a Predator" staring back at us over that glass of wine.
I'll be back with another update as soon as I make some progress here. I'm hoping to get to the actual dating stage in the next month or two. In the meantime, I believe Leigh has some classic photos from our night in Ann Arbor. Maybe she can post them after the football game. Let's hope she's dishing out some serious "Atta Boys" today!
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