Monday, December 15, 2008

Top 5...Christmas Edition

Happy Tuesday everyone, hope you all had a fabulous weekend! We are a mere 9 days from Christmas and this year I decided to hold out on the Christmas music until 2 weeks before. Yes, I am one of those people who hums along and even bobs her head to 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree' at the office. Previously I've had it on the week of Thanksgiving but there's only so many Christmas songs you can hear over and over before wanting to take a blow torch to dear old Frosty! It hasn't really hit me that Christmas is almost here, I'm more excited to have a week off from this desolate auto industry atmosphere but I'll try and get you all in the mood by bringing you my Top 5 list of the worst Christmas songs ever created.

5. Wonderful Christmastime: I'll probably be struck by lightening by the Rock N' Roll gods when I post this list for daring to make fun of their king but Paul McCartney must have had a momentary lapse in good judgement or maybe he just got tired of all those years playing guitar and decided to pick up his synthesizer and create this song. It's not catchy, it's not warm and fuzzy, it's just lame and doesn't even sound Christmasy!!






4. 12 Days of Christmas: Could there be a more annoying song? It's the Christmas equivalent to '99 bottles of beer on the wall' or 'The Song that Never Ends' with the repetitive tune. It used to be funny to challenge someone who might not know all the verses but now it just seems to go on forever!

3. A Soldier's Christmas Song: Ok, so I'm a cold heartless bitch for even having the balls to make fun of a song about an American Soldier saving Christmas but I have to be honest, it makes me cringe. Aren't Christmas songs supposed to make you feel good instead of crying?!? I support the troops and greatly appreciate their service for our country but this long, drawn out story of a song is too much to bear more then once a year.

2. Christmas Shoes: Go ahead and call me Ebenezer Scrooge, but this song is one of the sappiest, corniest, cheesiest songs of all time, let alone in the Christmas category. It could easily be the theme song for a Hallmark Channel Christmas special, in fact I think I might capitalize on that and get to work on a screenplay! I hope I can get Treat Williams to star as the shoe store owner and McLuvin to star as the young boy trying to buy shoes for his dying mother! This could be a huge hit!

1. I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas: By far, without a doubt the most awful Christmas song ever created. I don't know if it's the screechy high-pitched voice or the fact that she uses the word "Hippopotamuses" that makes me hate it more! Either way, it has earned my top spot as the worst Christmas song of all time!

8 comments:

Lisa said...

Allow me to be the first to say that I love McCartney's xmas song! I mean, it's probably because I met him and all, but still.

awesome said...

Lennon's "So This Is Christmas"...one of my favs. Reminds me of Christmas as a little one. Mom always had it on.

Marc said...

Arch,
We are no longer speaking. Your No. 5 pick is my favorite thing about this holiday, besides leaving cookies out for Santa. I hope all you get this year is a big fat moist poinsettia. Have a great life.
Marc

awesome said...

Sorry Lisa and Marc, I'm with Leigh on the Paul tune...cheesy ass synth playing the entire time.

Lisa said...

Marc...moist poinsettas are my favorite.

Awesome: are you referring to Lennon's amazing xmas tune: Happy Xmas - The War is Over? If so, I agree.

awesome said...

Yes, that is the tune. I bow to your musical knowledge on this one. Blanked on the actual song name.

Leigh said...

Awesome, the Lennon tune is one of my top 5 fav's as well!! That and Oh Holy Night!

Marc,
Perhaps you've forgotten that discontinuing speaking to me would adversely affect your inappropriate relationship with my husband...you better watch it.

The Iron Squirrel said...

and take off the vest, you look like Aladdin.