Diary of a Newlywed...car maintenance

Welcome 2010...wow, I don't know if I remember how to blog but I'll give it a go! To usher in 2010 I'll begin with a conversation that took place this morning between Nick and myself.

Setting: Nick's car, white 2007 BMW

Where: On the way to drop me off at work because my car was left there last week when I got a ride to the airport.

Time: 7:15am

Me: "Wow look at the fluffy, pretty snow coming down, they said it will only accumulate to 1 inch but it looks like it will be more"

Nick: "Ugh, why couldn't we have gotten your car last night, I'll never make it by 7:30."

Me: "I was ready at 7 and you said that would give us plenty of time for you to get to work on time, I didn't know there would be this much snow"

Nick: "We should have gotten it last night!"

Me: "I couldn't get a hold of Kyle to find out if he left my keys inside work or locked in my car so I didn't want to risk going all the way up there and finding out they were locked inside work"

Nick: "Ugh"

3 minute annoyed silence

Me: "What's going on with your tire? The maintenance screen here says you have really low tire pressure and that you shouldn't go more then 50mph because it's going flat"

Nick: "Oh that, it's fine, it's not losing air, this thing is always wrong, I've checked it and filled it up with air a few times and it's fine."

Me: "Well that's weird...I know they're really sensitive but remember a few months ago when my tire kept losing air and I thought nothing was wrong and turns out there was a nail in it?"

Nick: "I've checked it and filled it, the computer must be wrong"

Me: "Ok, well it's just weird that it keeps telling you that every time you fill it up if it's wrong..."

2 minute silence

Me: "So you actually checked the air pressure with a gauge?"

Nick: "Well I filled it up and it looks fine."

Me: "So you didn't actually check the air pressure?"

Nick: "No, it looks fine and I've just filled it up a couple times"

Me: "So it looks fine but you've had to fill it up several times and the computer is wrong?"

Pause when he says nothing

Me: "So I don't wanna be mean but do you really think you're qualified to look at a tire and know whether it has a leak because I work for a tire and wheel company and I was wrong about my own tire so I'm just saying that it's tough to make a visual call by sight alone and maybe you should get it checked out..."

1 minute silence

Nick: "I guess I can call and make an appointment with BMW..."

Me: "Well why don't you just take it over to Wearmaster in Canton where I know the owner and he fixed my tire and he'll help you out."

Nick: "No I have lifetime service with BMW"

Me: "But it's 30 miles away and this will likely cost you only $10"

Nick: "No, I'll call BMW."

Me: "Okay, well if you still don't believe something is wrong we only have about 50 tire air gauges laying around at work, do you want me to check it when we get there just to be sure?"

Nick: No I don't have time.

Me: "It will only take a minute."

Nick: "No, there's not time"

Me: "Okay"

I get dropped off at work, give a quick kiss goodbye, and head into the office. I'm making my oatmeal, brewing coffee and checking my email for the next 15 minutes when I realize I have a voicemail from Nick. Without checking the voicemail I call him right back and he picks right up.

Me: "Hey is everything okay?"

Nick: "No, my tire's flat, I had to fill it up with air, I don't know how long it will last and I have to be in South Lyon for basketball practice at 4."

Me: ".....................Hmmm, well why don't you drive it over to my office on your lunch break so we can switch cars and I'll take it to Wearmaster."

Nick: "Yeah ok, thanks.

Just a day in the life folks, hope you had a great holiday and fabulous NYE!!

The People have spoken

I was called out of my months long blog hibernation this morning by a monumental event that only happens once a year. Yes, People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive competition. This is the Oscars of magazine stories and it deserves my full attention. This year's choice, which seems so obvious, is actually fairly controversial in my well-crafted opinion. They have yet again chosen Johnny Depp. I'm a bit perplexed by this, not because Johnny isn't sexy or isn't worthy of being nominated - that he is. But seriously, have we come so far only to revert back to what we know? Maybe I'm still upset at last year's Hugh Jackman fiasco, but I really feel that People Magazine needs to dig a bit deeper in their bag of sexy men and pull out something new, something exciting, something like Robert Downey Jr.!

Yes, my nomination for Sexiest Man Alive 2009 is Robert Downey Jr. I know there are trendier options like Bradley Cooper or Robert Pattinson, all very very sexy, but I believe that RDJ has proven himself to be a consistent sexy man. Think about it: he was up, he was down, he was in and out of rehab more times than Scott Weiland (also sexy), and now he's made a complete career comeback, not to mention has packed on some serious muscles. He is a man who just gets better with age. While you may also say the same for Johnny Depp, I would argue that RDJ doesn't hide behind outlandish facial hair or Keith Richards style hair braids to mask his inherent sexiness. RDJ likely doesn't even know he is sexy while Johnny has been fighting against it since 21 Jump Street.

I'd also like to point out that I might be slightly influenced by his upcoming performance in Sherlock Holmes. If you were my therapist, I'd probably tell you that my fascination with British things, including dudes, likely originated from my childhood love of all things Sherlock Holmes. Toss Robert Downey Jr. into the mix and give him a British accent and I'm on board.

Maybe next year People Magazine will go out on a limb, or maybe they'll give it to George Clooney...who knows. I, for one, would appreciate the off beat option for once.

Diary of a newlywed...bed snobs

Before my co-diva sleeps off all the jet lag and digs all the sand out of her undies from her north African adventure I thought I'd bore you with a far less exciting story about my last two weeks. For any of you that are my friends on Facebook it will come as no surprise that Nick and I are moving. About 2 months ago we entertained the idea of putting our house up for sale and trying to upgrade in a down market. After seeing the pitful short sale comps in our neighborhood we took our realtor's advice and listed Brentwood for rent. Within a week we had renters who wanted a 2 year lease starting October 1 and just like that we were off hunting for our new pad. After a daunting 3 weeks of viewing house after house, we finally found a home well within our price range with everything on our "must have" list and we put in an offer. We received the good news of offer acceptance on September 17 and quickly realized that we had to be out of our house in less then two weeks and couldn't move into our new house until November 1. After much consideration we decided to put everything in storage and bunk with Nick's parents for the one month gap. Now most people would think we're rotten to complain about the amenities in our temporary digs, a hot tub, a mini-gym, a theater for watching Dexter every Sunday, and most importantly our own half of the house to sleep in, all great things except for one...QUEEN SIZE BEDS. Now here's where I'm going to sound really spoiled. I think I've written about the bed we bought soon after we got married and how big a deal it was for me. I picked out a king sized bed that was pretty pricey compared to the rest of our furnishings and splurged on a Visco foam memory topper and luxurious sheets because, well, we spend a lot of time in bed, reading, watching TV, Facebook chatting with each other on our laptops, etc... and I figure if you're gonna spend that much time in something you better make it the way you want it. Well I succeeded and we both sleep like babies the minute we snuggle in. The only negative in all this is that we've become bed snobs. Nothing compares to our bed and we have a hard time sleeping in other beds, let alone in smaller beds.

Have you ever wondered why your Grandparent's or maybe even your parent's started sleeping in separate rooms? The whole time I was alive Mika and Cha (Croation names for Gma and Gpa) slept in separate rooms and I would often ask why when my parents still shared a bed. I don't remember what answers I got but I think I'm quickly learning how it happens. The first night at the in-laws started out with us sleeping separately because Nick didn't know if he was going to get a 5am subbing job wake up call. At Brentwood the bathroom wasn't attached to our bedroom so he'd get up and get ready out of the room allowing me to keep sleeping for another hour and a half but here the bathroom and closets are right there and it would totally have woken me up and kept me up. The next day the housekeeper asked if we were getting divorced when she went to make the beds and noticed that two beds were ruffled and unmade. "Of course not!" we laughed and went on to explain the temporary situation but when it came time to go to bed that night we found ourselves hardly thinking twice about the separate beds. Now don't get me wrong, we still have cuddle times but even in our king size bed we'd do the 10-20 minute snuggle then separate to our sides of the bed and hope not to disturb one another with a elbow or kick. 9 days later and we've spent 2 nights together, one when the other rooms were full with siblings over the weekend and one two nights ago as an "experiment" after I started feeling insecure about out set-up and people making fun of us. The results of the experiment kicked all thoughts of insecurity out of my mind after we tossed and turned and I had to elbow and nudge Nick to stop snoring! Sleeping separately on weeknights is AWESOME! I still like waking up together on weekends when we get to sleep in but I have to ask...were we really designed and meant to share a bed with someone for optimum sleep?!? I'll leave that one our readers!

long time off

Wow, I can't believe we let an entire month go by without one single blog post! We are so horrible we shouldn't even be allowed to call ourselves bloggers! We need to get back in the saddle. Well I'll attempt to start us off by writing about a very common problem I've become quite familiar with over the last year and that is shower registries. For a very few special occasions in a woman's life most of us are delighted with the opportunity to hit up our favorite stores and use a magical computerized gun to scan anything and everything we might want onto a magical gift wish list. Now some people would debate the whole idea of the registry, in fact there are those, (Nick), who believe that asking people for specific gifts is quite rude but what he doesn't realize is that failing to specify some ideas or products can lead to utter chaos and potential gift receiving disaster.

The two most common reasons someone would create a gift registry are obviously a wedding or baby shower, both of which are two momentous events in a couples life which often ushers in a completely new phase or lifestyle which many people are materially unequipped to handle. Therein lies the necessity of the gift registry. Now I'm not saying that every couple needs a registry if they're engaged; some people who have lived independently for many years will have most everything they would register for but a lot of couples today still hope to make a home together with stuff that is "theirs" and what new mom has a supply of everything a baby needs before actually getting pregnant? And if they do, that's super weird. That's the whole point of the registry, to get stuff you actually want and need! Now does a new bride really "need" an alligator shaped oven mit? No, but I liked it okay!

I just can't understand why some people feel the need to make it about themselves and buy the bride or pregger's mama some random thing off the registry that they are soooo sure the recepient will love! Just because you love macrame plant hangers or a stained glass platter with a cartoon turkey on it and "Our First Thanksgiving" doesn't mean your friend will! I mean it's true that in most cases you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth but my friend really actually NEEDED a breast pump, and no its not as cute or fun to shop for as baby clothes but come on people, its not about you! Now I have no problem with another mom buying something that she found super helpful with a new baby that wasn't on the registry or adding a personal gift to go along with something on the registry but its there for a reason people so just stick to it and honestly it will make the recipient so much happier then the embroidered Snuggie you were planning to buy them...although as awful as they look, I kind of secretly want one...

Diary of a newlywed...Draft Picks Part 1

Its that time of year again, and one that people either live for or despise, football season. I've never understood the whole Fantasy Football thing and never really cared to. I just thank my lucky stars that Nick isn't obsessed with it because lord knows I already get an earfull about the upcoming season. It was during a conversation when I was questioning the purpose of the fantasy football draft that I found myself asking a bigger question, "why do guys love drafting stuff so much?" They televise the professional sports drafts for entire days, there are the fantasy leagues for fake drafting and even draft parties, I just don't get it! But then I realized it's all just a form of competition and guys can pretty much get themselves revved up to do just about anything when there's competition involved. That's when I had an idea, "what if I incorporated competition and drafting into other unexpected areas of our life?" And here's the first place that idea lead me...

Nick and I have a real love for our bed, maybe even an obsession. We spend as much time as possible in bed doing an array of things from The Nasty, Facebook stalking, solving world hunger, watching Diner's, Drive-In's and Dives, passing out after drinking too much, watching Gwar on Red Eye, to of course sleeping.

We're not one of those couples who has been working 8-5 jobs so long that we automatically wake up at 7am to get yard work done on weekends, nosiree, you will still find us snoozing away until nearly noon on most Saturdays and Sundays when we get the opportunity to do so and I don't feel one single bit of guilt over it! One of the first things I did after we got married was to go out and spend way too much money on my dream bed, a king-size upholstered Hollywood Regency meets modern style bed from Crate and Barrel and some luxurious high thread-count sheets that were worth every penny! If you've ever seen our bed you'll immediately notice that it only looks about 4 feet long because the top 4 feet of it is taken up by a mountain of pillows. Seven to be exact. We're both pretty territorial about which pillows we prefer and which pillowcases go on them. Nick is always stealing my pillows and I hate one of the pillowcases that he insists on keeping on his favorite pillow, (he's named the pillow/case combination "Red Squishy", I know feel free to gag), because it's red and nothing else in our room or bedding is red so it just sticks out like a sore thumb. Well I was getting pretty tired of being the only one to change the sheets and putting my favorite pillowcases on my favorite pillows only to have them stolen for a night to get drooled on by my beloved husband. I'd had enough of the fighting over the best pillows and pillowcases and I came up with an idea to put an end to it. The Pillow Draft. Here's how I laid it out. My first rule was an effort to get some help with the bi-weekly changing of the sheets so I told Nick that whoever remade the bed with clean sheets got the first pick of both the pillow and pillowcase overall which is a very big deal. From there we each take turns drafting our pillowcases and pillows (all of which we have names for) or trading our picks for a certain pillowcase. We even have a whole ceremony to begin the draft process. Are we nerds? Yes, but its totally worked and now we don't haggle over whose pillow is whose, we pick our own and stick with them for the next two weeks!

Where's George?

I'm full of interesting Internet discoveries today! Today is another big lottery day here in Michigan. Our company plays the Mega Millions lottery pool so I had to come up with two dollar bills to win my mega millions. As I was handing off my dollars, I noticed a red stamp on one of the bills that read "Track me at www.wheresgeorge.com." Who is going to ignore a stamp like that? Not me. As far as I'm concerned this is my lucky dollar. So I visited http://www.wheresgeorge.com/ and found a very interesting site devoted to tracking the comings and goings of dollar bills. You enter the serial number and the year it was printed and shazaam! up comes the history of your jet-setting dollar bill.

My dollar bill wasn't as well-traveled as some as it had only been registered in Pennsylvania in 2006, but after today who knows where the road could lead. I've never felt so connected to a dollar before, and I really hope it has a safe and fruitful journey (and never ends up in a stripper's g-string).

After reading about the previous owner of my bill (you can create a full profile and expound upon the condition of the bill and how it arrived in your pocket), I read the histories of their Top 10 bills. It's fascinating stuff. One bill has traveled thousands of miles, through hundreds of fast food restaurants, used as dozens of tips, and was eventually found floating around in Times Square.

Clearly I'm a bit slow today at the office. If you'd like to read up on the adventures of our currency, visit http://www.wheresgeorge.com/. Next time you see a little red stamp on your George Washingtons, make sure you let someone know that it's safe and sound.

Squirrel-Bombing

This is the funniest thing I've seen in FOREVER. I was reading Gawker this morning and saw the headline "At Long Last, the Squirrelizer has Arrived!". I clicked on the link and saw this photo of a squirrel in the foreground of what appears to be a shot of a couple and some lovely scenery. And then read this:

Surely you've heard about the squirrel that photo-bombed a Minnesota couple's timed shot on a Canadian lake? The whole world's gone mad over it! Well now you can have your own photos squirrelized by "that squirrel" as well!

That squirrel photo-bombed their timed photo! This is either the most genius squirrel EVER or this couple just scored kodak moment gold.

Go to the link below to read the original article about how the photo-bombing went down. Crafty little squirrel!

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/travel/53158832.html?elr=KArks7PYDiaK7DUvDE7aL_V_BD77%3Cimg

The Great House Hunt

I think we might need a new photo. I kind of feel like this isn't a good representation of me anymore - like maybe there are a few grays now or something. Anyways, to the point of my post today: Home Ownership, aka the American Dream. It was recently brought to my attention that I do not own a home. Yes, I've been paying rent on time now for several years, but apparently that rent is doing nothing but badness to me and my future well-being. It's flying out of my checking account and directly into my landlord's hands and leaving me with nothing but a roof over my head and a very low level of stress in my life. That is not good. I can no longer hop from home to home, refusing to decorate my dwelling, not having to deal with lawn maintenance, and just being an overall lazy arse. I have now entered the "why don't you buy a house" phase of my late 20's. As we all know, there is a checklist in life. Whether you like it or not, ignore it or live by it, there is a checklist. It starts at 18 and gradually builds up as you approach 30. Once you round the corner at 25, people start taking notice of how far you're getting on the checklist. It goes something like this (I'll use mine as an example):

Graduate high school - check

Go to college/graduate - check

Get a job - check

Relationship time/marriage - TBA

Buy a house - TBA

Kiddies - TBA

Don't get divorced - TBA

Retire comfortably on your 401k's and IRA's - TBA

Now of course this is different for everyone as we are all unique and have custom checklists. But I would guess that everyone has a checklist ingrained in them from birth, whether it was parental or societal pressure forming that list...doesn't really matter. My point is that I have entered the "Buy a House" phase of my checklist. Our readers might notice that I kinda skipped over the "Relationship time/marriage" part for now, which makes "Buy a house" even more adventurous (In my experience, if you skip one of the phases and enter the next phase, things are probably going to get stressful - and don't forget to start saving for retirement ASAP!).

Ok, so. I've been looking at houses. I've been through 3 (looking at 2 more today) and nothing has really jumped out at me and said "THIS IS IT!" like everyone says will happen. (So many parallels to dating, but I digress) Before you get overly concerned that I'm only doing this because I feel checklist pressure, allow me to assure you that I remain fully in control here, despite a total and complete meltdown last week. Yes, I agree that now is the time to buy. I am thrilled about the First-Time Home Buyer tax credit ($8000 bucks), I would enjoy my own walls for once and I have been itching to actually decorate something. I'd love for my dog to kill grass that I own so that I can stop worrying about replacing it when I move, and it would be nice to build equity even though I have no idea what that means. Basically, I'd like to invest in my future, aka my retirement accounts are never going to do anything so I need to make bucks off of real estate.

I see the positives and I am weighing the negatives and I do feel that a house would be cool. At the same time though, it's basically majorly stressful. As a single person, I have one income and don't really have a back-up plan if everything goes bust and I am suddenly broke. My accounts are only going to stretch so far before I join the ranks of the foreclosed. Yes, I am looking at the worst possible outcome, but I like to be prepared for all possibilities. No, I'm not going to buy more house than I can afford and I am going to pray every night that the roof is the best roof ever and the furnace loves nothing more than to keep me warm and if all goes well I will come out of this a proud and unscathed homeowner. We shall see.

If nothing else, this gives me some solid blog material, so expect some updates on my house-hunting adventure. Until then I will be taking lawn-mowing classes and will try to come to terms with taxes. Wish me luck.

not okay...

After several of our friends raved and insisted that we go see the latest comedy flick The Hangover, Nick and I finally made it to the theater a few weeks ago. We went to see it on a Tuesday night, a rarity for us, but Nick isn't working and there was a showing that allowed me to be in bed by 11pm so I decided to live on the edge for an evening. At first things seemed to be going our way. We walked up to the box office expecting to pay the exorbitant price of $10.00 per person and were delighted to see that all non new-release movies Sunday-Thursday are just $5.00 a ticket, for anybody at any showtime! Great, I thought! This allowed me to mostly guilt free spend the other $10.00 I saved on a buttery popcorn and diet Pepsi. Since the movie had been out for a few weeks it was in a smaller theater but we got there in time to get great middle-half-way up seats. I had to snicker when the previews started and I heard the distinctive cracking sound of a beer can opening and looked over to find a few college co-eds slugging back some brewskis but knowing what this movie was about, I wasn't surprised by the all adult crowd. About half way into the previews I noticed someone wheel something into the theater. After focusing my eyes for a second I realized with shock that it was a guy pushing a stroller! His wife or girlfriend was behind him and in a matter of seconds pulled out a bumbling little tyke from the carriage and left the stroller by the stairwell. Thoughts of, "Surely they are not bringing a 1ish year old child into a movie theater, and an adult themed movie at that!" Boy was I wrong, they scanned the rows for open seats and I secretly prayed that they wouldn't ask Nick or I to move and make room for their little guy in the seat next to us. The seats were mostly full but they managed to find 2 in the row directly behind us, which after doing the math in my head meant that one of them would have to hold the baby throughout the entire show. Now, I have friends and family that have small children and I totally understand that parents need to get out and see movies too but is it normal to take them to a rated R movie where the rest of the audience is adult?? I know they don't get what's going on when they're that young but the kid was chirping, gurgling, screeching, and laughing all throughout the movie! There's a reasonable chance I'll eat my words in the next 10 years when I want to see a movie and no one can babysit my kid and I really don't feel like going to see G-Force, (that horrendous looking movie about hamster FBI agents), where all the other kids will be laughing and making noise through it but I'll at least give the baby some benadryl or brandy! Okay so I'm kidding, I won't drug my child so I can go see a dumb movie but I can't ever see myself imposing on other people like that. Now did it ruin the movie? No because the movie was absolutely hysterical and Bradley Cooper is totally on my free pass list but it was certainly annoying and I just want to let everyone know that I swear to only take my super young kids to kid friendly movies where they can laugh, scream, upchuck, etc... and it will seem totally appropriate.

BTW, the hype is totally worth it, The Hangover is hilarious!

Can you bottle jet lag?

With the auto companies on summer shutdown for a few weeks my schedule has gotten rather flexible. I wasn't scheduled to work until 11am so I was able to set my alarm for 8:45 this morning which allowed me to get a workout in before showering. Nick and I golfed last night, or rather he golfed and I attempted to keep from losing too many balls with my shots from the fairway, so we had a late dinner and finally got to bed around 11:30 when Chelsea Lately comes on. Nick's ability to sleep in rivals that of a college student so even with my late wake up call I assumed he'd still be snoozing till 11am.

This past Monday he just returned from a 12 day guys golf trip to Ireland and his body clock is all messed up so I couldn't figure out if I was imagining, fantasizing or just plain dreaming when I woke up this morning. I hit the snooze button once for that extra 7 minutes then finally rolled over to grab my crackberry and see who was after me at the office. We sleep with a fan and an air filter so WWIII could pretty much start on our front lawn at night and we'd have no idea. I reached over my foot to find one of Nick's feet for our morning footsie tradition and was confused when I didn't feel anything. I rolled over only to come face to face with the body pillow he hugs at night minus Nick. I finally got up and switched off the air filter and still heard a loud air sucking sound and started to really wonder if I was hearing things or if I'd accidentally taken too much Benadryl last night. I walked out of the room to follow the noise and began to wonder if I'd left something on last night while beginning my descent of the basement stairs. The fog hadn't quite cleared from my head because I couldn't seem to process the scene in front of me. There was Nick, dressed in shorts and a shirt looking awfully awake while vacuuming the basement. I know this doesn't sound that weird but it was 8:55am and I don't know if I've ever seen Nick vacuum the basement, let alone before the crack of noon. He finally noticed my presence and the confusion on my face when I asked if he was alright. He just chuckled and said, "jet lag...woke up at 8 and couldn't get back to sleep so I thought I'd get going on vaccuuming the basement and around my CD's." Peering at his desk I noticed that he'd done some organizing as well, (something I'd been waiting for him to tackle for the last 9 months). I don't know what is so different about his body clock being off and him just randomly waking up early on a Saturday but this is the only time I can recall him finding some shred of self-motivated urge to clean and his explanation was the jet lag! I'm gonna have to send him off on more international trips in the future if this is what happens. I wonder if the jet lag is worse, like if he goes to Australia, maybe I can get him to repaint the garage or clean out the gutters or scrub the toilets?? That'd be fantastic!

Sadness

I was on my way to the NKOTB show when I heard the sad news about Michael Jackson. Between the concert and the breaking news about MJ, it's safe to say that last night was a straight flashback from 1989. I kept waiting for Doc to fix the flux capacitor so I could get out of there.

In honor of MJ, feel free to post your childhood memories and be totally cheeseball. I'll always remember him as the Michael Jackson from Bad. You know, very early plastic surgery phase, still on top of the world and keeping the crazy at bay. Bad was the first album that I ever owned, as a gift from my parents, when I was 6 years old. So thanks to MJ for making me shake my booty.

More on the NKOTB concert later (or as I like to call it "The Jordan Knight is OMG Still Hot Tour")

Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh, Oh Oh Oh Oh

The Right Stuff...huh. I'm going to see the boy band formally known as New Kids on the Block, now just NKOTB, this evening. That's right, you are jealous. I'll have a full report tomorrow or Saturday for you. It's a very last minute deal and I certainly was unprepared for the emotional baggage that comes with seeing your childhood idols again after 20 years. I'm a firm believer in leaving things in the past, but a free ticket is a free ticket. Will I revert back to my 8-year-old self and sing along to my old favorites? Will I pass out from the hysteria? Will I just sit there and think...my god...I had horrendous taste as a child? Likely. Maybe I was right way back in 1989...maybe Jordan Knight and I ARE supposed to be together forever and this is how we will meet.

Either way, I will let you know how it turns out.

Serious Question

Ok, so I go on vacation to San Francisco/Santa Cruz/Napa Valley and two days before our return to the D I woke up with a raw sore throat. That night the back of my throat started to tickle and sure enough I woke up the next day with a cough. Sunday came and my voice started to go froggy, I spent Monday and Tuesday exhausted from nights of sleepless coughing and days of explaining to our customers, vendors, etc... why I sounded like a man. I finally got a good night of sleep on Tuesday and felt my voice loosening up yesterday along with the phlegm in my chest only to start sneezing and blowing my nose while having to do the suck in breath thing between bites of food at dinner last night. Today I've sneezed several times; on my shoes, on my hands, on the ground, on my desk and have covered nearly ever surface in snot. Now I realize there's probably no one left reading right now but I have a serious question to ask. Where does the snot come from and have I always had this much in my head? Is it becuase of some bacteria or virus that it's just now making its cry for freedom through my throat and nose?? I thought I was on the upswing of this thing and now I'm starting to wonder...figures I would go alllll winter long without even a touch of the flu or a cold and as soon as summer and my vacation hits, BAM, onslaught of wheezing, sore throat, coughing and runny nose! It couldn't be the fact that I was totally off my mostly healthy routine while in Northern Cali, eating every unhealthy thing I came across and washing it down with several forms of alcohol while sleeping restlessly in 4 different hotel beds for 6 nights, not to mention slacking on any form of exercise....nah, couldn't be that.

Sharing is Caring

Hi all...just wanted to share this photo. I had lots of interesting topics floating around in my head today, but forgot them all the moment this appeared on my screen. I think the other topics had something to do with Jon & Kate being genius media whores (but those poor little children!). I'm going to let this photo sink in for a few minutes and come back with my rant/rave about America's favorite trainwreck family.

Return to the stomping grounds...

I'm not sure how many of you have had the opportunity to return to the stomping grounds of your early 20's or college but I recently got the opportunity to do just that. Most people wouldn't list metro Detroit in their top 10, okay let's be honest, not even top 100 places to party but Detroiters have an ace in their pocket that few people outside the area even realize: Windsor. At the ripe old age of 19, Canadian's, who clearly mature 2 years faster then U.S. citizens, are legally old e

nough to drink alcohol. Windsor is a only stone's throw away from the metro area so while the rest of you were forced to either 1. procure a fake I.D., 2. drink illegally at house parties, or 3. bide your time until turning 21, we Detroiters and really anyone who felt like hopping on one of the many highways to the Ambassador Bridge or the tunnel could be in Canada drinking legally in under 30 minutes.

Well thanks to a long standing promise Nick and his brother Chris made back in their early 20's to their cousin Leslee who turned 19 just a few weeks ago I found myself back in Windsor last Saturday night. On our way to the tunnel Nick and I  figured out that it had been about 5-6 years since last stumbling down Ouellette Avenue in Windsor.  A lot can change in 5 years and we soon found out just how much had changed since our Windsor days.   After primping and doing a little pre-drinking at our hotel we asked the front desk for a map of the local bars.  We knew which bars we wanted to go to but we were a little rusty on their locations.  We first settled in for dinner and the Red Wings game at a cool sports bar called The Honest Lawyer.  We have a long standing tradition when the Wings games are on a weekend night which consists of taking shots for every goal they make.  On average this will only work out to be about one shot every hour for 2-3 hours since hockey isn't generally a high scoring game.  This game, however; proved to be quite different.  The first period landed us only one Red Headed Slut shot and we were eating and enjoying ourselves without it having much effect.  The second period began and over the course of the next 20 minutes four goals were made! Four goals!  When have you ever seen a hockey team score 4 goals in one period?!?  Needless to say, we started asking for fruity shots before we all ended up on the floor at 10pm. 

We decided it was safe to leave the game a few minutes early since the score was 5-0 and I asked to check out the map with the list of bars on it.  I was a bit confused when I first glanced down at it and  noticed that 2 of the bars I used to frequent had been crossed off the list.   We started walking in the general direction of the strip and I was shocked when we came upon a place that had once been a saloon style karaoke bar but is now covered in gleaming chrome, mirrors and black leather.  After a pit-stop there we went in search of trusty old Bentley's, 

a place that has so many memories of nights spent dancing, laughing, and meeting new people.  We were starting to wonder if we were lost when I saw Woody's across the street and realized that the spot where Bentley's once resided was now empty.  I asked a bouncer on the way into Woody's where Joker's was and he pointed across the street to an empty lot where the building had been knocked down.  Practically none of the places we used to spend our Friday's and Saturday's at were there anymore, everything had changed! 

 

Well not everything.

The bars we did end up in may have changed names, styles, Deejay's, drink specials, etc...but the people watching hasn't changed a bit.  I felt old but not entirely out of place when a few 19 year old boys tried to sidle up behind me for the "bump and grind" dance.  I doubt the freak dancing will ever truly die out, I mean what else would guys do at a dance club besides that? And no one better leave a comment about glow sticks, that is not an acceptable form of dancing unless your at a rave.  The younger girls still come out in large groups, all dressed alike, but somehow they look so much older then I remember us looking at that age.  The guys are still pounding shots and looking for a girl separated from her pack in order to try the sidle up move and in general everyone there is just out to have a good time.  It was strange being back in a town that had been our spot for at least 2-3 years straight 

when everyone there now doesn't have any idea about how it once was but I'm sure its the same in a lot of bar towns.  It turned out to be a really fun night and as a ode to some things NEVER changing, we ended up at the casino at 4am and lost a bunch of money.

Are You Ready?

I just have one question for you today. Are you ready for the Digital TV Transition? In case you haven't heard about this transition, it's basically D-Day for your television set. If you have an antenna or don't pay for cable or both, then your TV will self combust at some point in the very near future. I, for one, really wish that our government would have warned us about this incoming apocalypse. Maybe a few commercials instructing us as to how we could prepare for this transition would have been helpful. Or maybe a running ticker at the bottom of my TV screen for the last 6 months during the local news. I don't know...I'm not on the government's DTV Transition Committee, but if I were none of this would be a problem. There is going to be a national outcry this week when our innocent TV watching citizens are shocked to find their analog TV sets only show a fuzzy Pat Sajak. I just hope in the future someone will better prepare us for a situation of this magnitude.

I think the only thing us responsible TV watchers can do is to spread the word. Shout it from the rooftops. Tell everyone you know that there is a major transition happening in their TV. It WILL NOT WORK anymore if they haven't updated their set in the last 20 years. My cable service Wow! assures me that as long as I pay them $100 a month, I am safe. I'd hate to miss the next episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey so I will keep writing those checks. Please share this news with everyone you know who owns a television. We can't make up for the time our government has lost by not spreading the word, but we can start to make a difference now.

A Miracle Monosaccharide

I'm having a hard time finding inspiration lately, but finally I have something worth sharing with the internet world. I recently was made aware of the cure for one of lifes most nasty and disabling self-induced illnesses - the hangover. I've been having Hallelujah moments every weekend since a friend let me in on a little secret = Glucose prevents hangovers. Technically it doesn't cure them because when you take glucose you don't even get one. It's like you never ingested those 6 rum and cokes or that last red bull and vokda shot (I'm talking in general...nothing I write reflects upon my actual habits or behavior).

I did a bit of googling and found some tried and true research on this very topic. All this time it's been at my fingertips and I was ignorantly suffering through my Saturday and Sunday afternoons (not every one...just those few random occasions). Can you imagine what college would have been like had I, I mean people in general, known about this?! It's mind-boggling! I'm not even going to talk about those international weekends we all spent enjoying the sights and sounds of beautiful Windsor, ON. It's almost cruel that doctors aren't legally obligated to tell you about this as soon as you turn 21 (or 19 for our neighbors to the north). Don't take my word for it though - here's what some website called Health News has to say about it:

"Once you start drinking, the body stores the alcohol in your system which is why the effects can come on strong and last for hours. The alcohol you let absorb into your body disrupts the production of glucose (natural sugar) and makes your liver work overtime which explains the feeling of sluggishness you receive upon waking up, among the many other symptoms already mentioned. Glucose feeds the brain and accounts for the weakness encountered after your body has been taken over by the drowning qualities of alcohol."

It's nature's all natural organic preventative! And you can buy it at your local grocery store! You can find it right in the medicine aisle with the diabetes medications. I haven't actually bought any and keep bumming it off people like a bad habit, but it's there and just waiting to be discovered. There is even a pretty solid little factoid on the Hangover wikipedia page:

A 1976 research has come to the conclusion that "The results indicate that both fructose and glucose effectively inhibit the metabolic disturbances induced by ethanol but they do not affect the symptoms or signs of alcohol intoxication and hangover."

Translation: take it before drinking and you're golden.

In my recent experience, if you take one or two of these little (alka-seltzer sized) orange flavored tablets after one or two drinks, your symptoms will either be non-existent or greatly reduced. They are actually kind of delicious because, well, they obviously taste like sugar and sugar is delicious. I liken it to a giant Smartie with life-saving abilities. Now, I need to give credit where credit is so completely due. The glucose didn't fall out of the sky like manna from heaven - it came to us on the advice of our friend Ben Davis. He apparently learned about it during a top secret military campaign in a land where the glucose flows like honey. I'm not sure where that is, but I'm glad he was able to bring his well-earned knowledge back with him and share it with us glucose-deprived casual drinkers. The world will be a better place because of it and my couch will miss me on Saturday afternoons.

So next time you're planning a night on the town, just remember to play it safe. Take your glucose.

Morning Routine...Interrupted

After nearly 4 years working at the same job, starting at the early hour of 8:00am I've got my morning routine down to a science. The alarm starts going off at 6:43am allowing me to hit the snooze button twice before actually rolling out of bed and entering the cruel, cold world. I wash my face, then flip on the TV while brushing my teeth and type in Channel 231 for Good Morning America HD which starts at 7am. I know what segments happen at what time so if Sam Champion goes to weather and I'm not styling my hair or putting my makeup on I know I'm running behind. At 7:24am they break for the local news and Eric and Alicia from "7 Action News This Morning" spout off on the the local going ons in our fair city. This part of the show is normally just background noise since we all know how horrible local news can be. I'm usually slicking on some mascara until I hear them send it to Dave Rexroth, the weather man, at which point I actually leave the bathroom to watch. Today; however, I nearly poked myself in the eye when I heard the teaser, "Daughter kills Dad over last dinner roll!" I don't have coffee until I get to work so I considered the fact that I was still in a sleepy, groggy state and walked to the living room to rewind the segment. Sure enough I rewound and heard the same teaser so I continued to watch as they described a Melvindale woman who ate her Father's precious last dinner roll even after he put a note on it saying it was saved for him. This selfish, heinous act really lit a fire under ole Dad's ass and understandably he went right for the knife drawer to show her who was boss...unfortunately for him his daughter either had a secret knife drawer of her own or regularly carries a knife on her person at 6am because a knife war ensued and the daughter actually stabbed her Father to death! Following the murder the daughter was found hiding in the woods behind her house. Ok, so I have a few questions/comments/concerns about this whole story and you can watch the actual news coverage here:

http://www.wxyz.com/news/local/story/POLICE-Woman-Kills-Father-Over-Leftovers/9fV_Ukhuxk6a_LPB2Gl-aw.cspx

1. Who puts a note to save a dinner roll?? I mean a Ribeye from the Chop House is one thing but a dinner roll?? Talk about the crime not fitting the punishment, I'd only break someones Tibia for eating my saved dinner roll, not stab them!!

2. Who eats dinner rolls at 6a.m? Cereal, eggs, omelets, bacon, french toast...all acceptable breakfast foods, dinner rolls? Not on the list!

3. The woman was found hiding in the woods behind her own house! What's the point of hiding if it's within 50 feet of the crime scene?!? Has this woman never seen Law & Order, CSI or even Reno 911?!? Doesn't take a genius to figure out that hiding requires a bit more distance then the back woods of your home, I mean walk around the block at least!

4. The 42 year old daughter was living with her 62 year old Father: Well that's enough to make you stab just about anyone but seriously, a knife fight?!? What happened to a good ole screaming match or food fight?!? Both are far more productive and cleaner then having to sop up your poor father's blood! Clearly these two had some anger management issues from the get go and it's sad that it had to come to a head over a freaking dinner roll...hope you enjoyed that last bite that cost you your father you evil wench!

Diary of a Newlywed...partial credit

As I have previously mentioned in a couple of postings I've spent many hours on the treadmill working my way through The West Wing. I'm completely in love with this show and luckily my Father-in-law offered me every season on DVD from his collection so I can come and get the next season whenever I need it. I'm on the last disc of season 2 and there's nothing worse then walking downstairs to the treadmill, queuing up what you think is the next episode only to find that you've seen them all! This happened with the first season and I was forced to take a hiatus from the West Wing and watch Law & Order: SVU until I could get my hands on season 2. To avoid this problem I asked Nick to pick up the third season from his parent's house when I was only on disc 3 so that there would be a seamless transition between seasons. A few days later he was in Ann Arbor and I reminded him to pick up the DVD on his way home. I described precisely where to look, down to which side of the drawer so that he wouldn't have to traipse all over the house looking for it. Later that evening I asked if he'd remembered to stop by and when he nodded yes relief washed over me considering the fact that it'd taken days of reminders to get him to stop in. He walked over to his shoulder bag, reached in and with a big grin pulled out not one but two plastic wrapped DVD cases and handed them to me. I smiled back, set them aside without much inspection and gave him the pat on the back he deserved for thinking ahead and grabbing season's 3 AND 4, I mean seriously, this was a big deal! Not only did he do everything I asked but he went the extra step to grab the next season as well so I wouldn't have to wait! I put them on the coffee table where they have resided for the past week and took the remaining disc of season 2 with me to Florida last weekend where I polished off the season on the flight. Excited to start season 3, I went to grab it before my run on Tuesday and before ripping off the plastic noticed that I was holding season's 4 and 5. I stared at the box sets, confusion growing as I tried to figure out where season 3 was. After a few moments in thought I knew what had happened but was even more confused about what to do. He'd clearly gone exactly to where I'd told him the DVD's were, grabbed anything that said West Wing on it and not given the title's or large Season numbers on the covers much thought. Hey, its only 18 episodes, what can really happen in that short amount of time that I can't skip right onto season 4 right?!? I just had to laugh, I was bummed about not having season 3 but he'd tried, he really had and even though he'd completely failed to get what I needed it was an A for effot! Next up we'll work on execution...

In the name of research...

From time to time, we at Dyingtobedivas attempt to provide our readers with some actual valuable information. Obviously those posts are far and few between our usual nonsensical posts meant only for entertainment purposes. After a lovely long weekend in New Smyrna Beach, Fla. at my parent's beachside condo we discovered a new, (could seriously be 5 years old for all I know), feature on our rental car, a 2009 Ford Taurus. As you've probably noticed, we don't dare promote websites, products, movies, books, etc... unless we've done some serious scientific research and this time is no different. What your about to see is a tightly controlled experiment set up after days of preparation and I gotta give Lisa a shoutout for for participating in this highly dangerous test trial. So without further ado....