He's Just NOT That Into You!

Ladies are you familiar with that phrase? Yes, it's currently a movie starring Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johannson, and yes, it's also a best-selling self help book, but I mean...you know...in real life. Maybe your girlfriends have never dared to utter those six little words to you while you're in the midst of a dating crisis. Maybe they've instead told you that "he's too immature for commitment" or "you're too good for him anyways" or even "your beauty and intelligence have obviously intimidated him." Yes ladies, even though they are lying to your face, they are still good friends. They just don't want to hurt your feelings by stating the obvious truth that is glaring everyone else in the face: The guy just doesn't like you.

Leigh and I went to see the movie last night while recovering from yet another Saturday night doing what we do worst. I had a feeling that I would be able to relate to at least some of these hilarious dating scenarios and I was not disappointed. Scarlett's character being nearly strangled by a clingy cuddler while trying to sleep = check!, stalking people on Myspace like Drew = check!, wondering why on earth someone would ask for your number if they never intend to use it = check! There were a few cringe-worthy moments though for female-kind. I wanted to scream at Jennifer Goodwin's character, Gigi, every time she checked her voicemail (at least thousands) or staged a "drive by", or immediately fell for every guy that looked at her twice. It was like the girl had no filter and was ready to marry anything that had a heart beat. I'm sure there are some ladies out there that are like this and perhaps they are the ones that need to hear "He's Just Not That Into You" on a daily basis. No, he didn't lose your number or suddenly come down with a severe case of laryngitis...the dude's just not going to call. And if he does call in two weeks at 3am, nothing good is going to come out of it (for you) so don't even answer. Guys, this is a two way street. I'm no expert on breaking things off as my usual M.O. is to fake death by not answering my phone, but I can't tell you how confusing this lack of response seems to be to some guys. By the third follow-up voicemail he leaves me, I'm really starting to feel like a horrible person. But I've survived HIM not being into me plenty of times to know that the guys will survive HER not being into them as well.

I guess the moral of the story is to find some self-respect and keep it. Don't settle for just average because 40 years with average is a heck of a long time. And it's okay to admit the truth -not every guy or girl is going to like you back. That doesn't mean you need facial reconstructive surgery or you should permanently reside in a gym (although it could, but they have other books for that), it just means that you should keep trying and while trying, keep those delusions at bay.

To my girlfriends, however, you can just continue to tell me nice flattering things whenever this happens to me. I'll still know the truth, but will love you for lying to me just the same. :)