beer me

I think I'm finally recovered from our wild birthday party extravaganza last weekend. The spray tan has worn off leaving my sun sheltered skin pasty once more, I can finally walk in heels again and the smell of alcohol doesn't make me gag, in fact I'm really craving a margarita right now! Hangovers must be similar to how women describe childbirth as being awful but they're unable to really remember the pain because I could swear that 3 days ago I swore off drinking forever and wouldn't you know a long weekend rolls around with Friday off and I've pretty much committed to a night on the town. Short term memory loss is a wonderful thing until the flashes of cringe-worthy moments and memories I wish would stay blacked out from those blurry nights find their way to perfect clarity in my mind. That's a decent reminder but obviously not a enough to become a deterrent for the next weekend or event. I guess I'm just a social butterfly and I hate being cooped up and it's spring time people, the sun is shining, the snow has melted for what is hopefully the last time and what could be better then going out with friends to share a pint or 6?!? Nah, you all know me too well, I don't do beer. I wish I did, honest, I envy the feeling others get when they come home from a hot day at work and need to crack open a cold one, I've never had that experience!! I know what you're thinking, that I just haven't found the right beer and that's where you're wrong. Since I was a wee little lad, (is lad purely male? maybe a wee lass), my Dad has been sampling beers from around the world everywhere we've travelled and he'd always let us try a sip. I've tasted beer from the beer capital, Germany, the Caribbean islands, tons of British beers, even Asian beers of recent and I just can't help but make that sour ewww face kids make when they suck on a lemon for the first time. I long to join in on pitchers of beer at the karaoke bar or bowling alley, and take advantage of the .50 drafts at the sports bar instead of ordering a $4.00 Smirnoff ice or a $6.00 glass of wine or a $5-8.00 cranberry vodka. It's not because I'm high maintenance, I've just NEVER been able to develop a taste for it but I won't quit trying, I'm determined to find one I like or at least get to the point where I can tolerate it without choking it down, I'm on a mission and I will succeed! Any suggestions would be gladly appreciated, I have tried the cider beers, the raspberry wheat beers, the fruit infused beers, corona with lime, etc...and I keep waiting for it to click like, "mmmm this Bud Light really is drinkable!" but it hasn't happened yet. As I said I will keep on truckin' until I find that holy grail of delicious, thirst quenching, golden fizzy goodness that finally brings me into the club of beer drinkers!