I Rest My Case

Delayed Reaction...

Oh my, oh my, oh my, hummuna, hummmana, hummmana ....Lisa, I just have one thing to say about Daniel Craig...he doesn't hold a candle to this shot of Hugh Jackman!!! God...if you're listening, I'd just really like to thank you for blessing my previously shite day with this little reminder that Heaven does exist and it's filled with Hugh Jackman lookalikes who will massage my feet while serving me dulce de leche gelato out of gold plated bowls and ramble on with that sexy Australian accent all day long. Forget the snow and yucky sleet outside...I have all I need to keep me warm, thankyou Italian Vanity Fair! Oh, and btw Lease, he actually stands taller then 5'6" like your dear old Daniel Craig, good luck wearing heels around your 007!

Oasis tickets for sale!

Ok, so I know this isn't Craigs List, but I'm running out of options. I have two amazing floor seats to the Ryan Adams/Oasis show on Saturday, December 13 at The Palace. I have them posted on Stub Hub, but it's not looking good. If anyone is interested they are for floor section D, row 21 seats 9 and 10. I bought them on presale, so they are pretty good. $70/each and I won't even add on the stupid Ticketmaster fees or courtesy fees or 9/11 security fees or anything.

And no, I haven't lost my undying love for Oasis. I'm still going, but the little ticket fairy has once again come through. They would make a great Christmas present for that Brit Pop fan in every family! Let me know...I would be forever grateful.

The Week in Review 11/21/08

"Sippin on coke and rum, I'm like - So what I'm drunk, it's the freakin weekend and I'm about to have me some fun." Anyone?? It's only the most genius lyric ever from the mastermind behind the "Trapped in the Closet" series, R. Kelly!! I thought I would kick off this week's "The Week in Review" with a bit of poetry.

Now that we've all been cultured, I'd like to drop the week's biggest stories for you. Without further delay:

- Full House cutie Jodie Sweetin and husband to split! - it looks like her methamphetamine addiction will not be the low point of her life. Now she has a public divorce to go through with a small child in tow. Look for her to be driving the Olsen trolls around for extra cash soon.

- Paris Hilton and Benji Madden split! - I was never clear how someone downgrades from a Greek oil heir to a Good Charlotte twin, but Paris tried hard for a few months. Who will her next victim be?? I'm voting for a lesbian phase.

- Hugh Jackman is the Sexiest Man Alive! - Barack Obama was robbed.

- OMG Arrested Development film will happen!! - This is the best news I've heard since November 4th. Best comedy series ever. The show that launched the career of Michael Cera and brought Jason Bateman back from the Where Are They Now files. I will be the first in line wearing my best Buster Bluth costume.

- Oprah to downgrade her "Favorite Things" show - She gave out a $4000 HDTV Refrigerator to her audience last year. This year they will receive "a special gift that won't cost a thing." They got screwed.

- Detroit Lions lose both games next week! - Ok, so this is just a prediction.

- Big 3 Auto Execs are complete morons! - Not only are they getting paid 10's of millions of dollars to run their companies into the frozen Michigan ground, they decided to take their private jets to beg for a handout from the government. At what age do rich white dudes lose common sense?! Quick someone call Ted Stevens.

- Sarah Palin pardons turkey while turkey's brother gets head chopped off in background! - if you haven't seen this video, click here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DTSPzU0RI (actual gory parts are blurred out)

That's all for this week! Thanks for reading!

A minor rant

I've been reading reviews of the Detroit Madonna show here and there and am amazed about something. A ton of readers have commented that she was two hours late taking the stage. That's just not true. I don't know how many concerts these people have been to, but when it says 7:30 on the ticket it doesn't mean the main act will be onstage at 7:30. She didn't have an opener, so that just means you sit and wait until 9pm. How ridiculous would that be if the doors were at 7:30 and two seconds later Madonna comes out...the show would end at 9pm! Totally not a big deal, but I am shocked at how many people are complaining about her being 2 hours late. I read that same thing happened on a few different stops, but she's getting a bum rap because people are morons. My two cents for the day!

Hottie of the Week!

Very sorry that we have slacked off on this category! I really can't think of anything better to do than find hotties to admire, so I have no excuse for not posting the last couple times. Allow me to make it up to you in the best possible way: Ladies and Gentlemen admire Mr. Daniel Craig, James Bond himself.

Now, traditionally on this day in November, People Magazine releases their official worldwide competition winner for "The Sexiest Man Alive." This year is no exception. They selected Hugh Jackman as this year's Sexiest Man and with plenty of good reasons. He has a ridiculous body, is a triple threat talent-wise, and just seems like a good ol chap. He's been married to the same woman for 16 years, has a few kids running around, and hasn't been caught in a scandal. To that I say, ho hum. I think Leigh would disagree with me on this and maybe she can state her case tomorrow, but I much prefer the British badass Daniel Craig.

He too has an amazing body, which anyone who saw Casino Royale can attest to (finally a man coming out of the water in a sexy bathing suit!), he is British so automatically cool, has the most amazing blue eyes ever, and just oozes mystery. You won't find him singing and dancing on Broadway. He'll be too busy cruising around town in that Aston Martin or sipping martinis in a tuxedo. Ok, so maybe I'm confusing his character James Bond for the real person, but I'm sure he also enjoys killing international criminals in his downtime. I saw the second Bond installment, Quantum of Solace, this past weekend and loved it. Granted, I agree with the critics that Casino Royale was a better movie overall, but Quantum was an action-packed thriller that nicely wrapped up his revenge issues for his dearly departed Vesper Lynd. It was more of a sequal to Casino than a full blown Bond movie, but who cares. Daniel Craig is the man. For these reasons, I don't even need to breakdown the hotness scale. He gets an automatic 30 out of 30 and my vote for the Dyingtobedivas "Sexiest Man Alive!"

SP's winning streak!

I just have to take a minute to rave about one of my favorite shows right now...Southpark. There have been some great episodes this season and with only tonight's episode left until next Spring I thought I'd give a brief bio and try to win over all you haters. The twelfth season started off a on a high note with "The China Problem" episode in which half was dedicated to mocking the despicable new Indiana Jones movie in a way that can only be described as shocking if not a little disturbing. The episode features three of the main characters being haunted by scenes of Indy being raped by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas in a mockery of other movie rape scenes such as Deliverance. Rape is still disturbing even if it is in cartoon form but it definitely got the point across and I couldn't have agreed more with their take, they took a classic movie and exploited it and turned it into a parody of itself by adding new characters played by horrendous actors and an alien villain with a crystal skull, it was 2 hours of my life and $12.00 worth of popcorn and diet soda I'll never get back!!! After the first episode the season hit a bit of a slump, failing to capitalize on what I figured to be a wealth of material to mock since the last season ended, what with all the politics, Lindsey Lohan gone lesbo scandals, endless amounts of idiotic Britney Spears moments, etc.. so after a 2-part episode meant to mock the unsuccessful movie Cloverleaf we were all wondering what Matt and Trey were going to do for the election episode. For those of you who are not fans of the show and think Southpark is beneath you or too crude and immature, you're totally right but it's so genius!! If people could get over the crassness of the 4th graders pooping on the teacher's desk, evil villain's heads exploding regularly, and an entire episode about a record setting turd you'd be surprised at the brilliance behind those little cut-out characters! They have no biases when it comes to who they'll rip on...everything is fair game and if you've been offended at one point by them ripping on something you agree with give it another chance because they'll be sure to do an episode making fun of the opposition in the future.

If you're going to give any episode a chance, watch the election episode, "About Last Night" which is periodically being replayed on Comedy Central. In this instant classic of an episode Matt and Trey managed to turn around verbatim speeches of Palin, McCain, and Obama from just the night before and spin it into a spoof on Ocean's 11 where all of the political candidates work together to steal the "Hope" Diamond from the Smithsonian which can only be reached by the Presiden't secret Oval Office Tunnel. It is by far one of their most clever episodes and in between scenes of Sarah Palin scaling the ceiling of the museum they spoof Obama supporters by showing them partying until they puke their guts out because Obama says, "YES WE CAN" and because "everything's about to change" so they won't have to obey rules or need jobs anymore. At the same time they show McCain supporters rounding up supplies so they can stay safe in a bunker since the whole world will end if Obama wins. It's a hilarious portrayal of both sides and it's full of great Randy Marsh (see pic above) moments where every song turns into some kind of praise for Obama and where McCain supporters are killing themselves over the world ending. If there's an episode that can win you over it's this one so give it a chance! Lisa's even recently become a fan and she resisted for years!!