WTF - quick hits

I just returned from a quick work trip to Tampa FLA and wow...our weather sucks. It was 75 and partially sunny for the 24 hours I was there. A person could get used to that in February.

I have two items that I wanted to touch on briefly today under the new category WTF. My first WTF moment this morning came when I read an article on People.com that Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams are engaged...engaged to be married. Now I knew that they had dated briefly a few months ago and I was stunned even about that. Then there was a break up and an awkward moment when she went back to her ex DJ AM. But in true Hollywood style, she is now not only back with Ryan Adams but she's also planning to wed him until death do them part. That's Mandy Moore, singer of teen pop single "Candy" and Ryan Adams, curmudgeonly older indie star that hides behind his hair and sadness. WTF do these two have in common?! Oh now I know...they both have zero street cred. Adams just lost his by proposing to MANDY MOORE. What's next? Britney Spears gets engaged to Joaquin Phoenix? I just don't get it.

My next WTF item is a poorly researched bit on Lady GaGa. I hesitate to make a call on this one yet because I don't know that much about her. I'm just perplexed by her image vs. her music. See photo. Her outfits are writing checks that her music just can't cash. Now, according to Wikipedia she is an art school grad that supposedly makes electro-glam music inspired by Bowie and the like. Sounds awesome...so WTF is up with her hit single "Just Dance"? Maybe it's a fluke and it's not really representative of "her sound" but that still does NOT excuse a cameo by Akon in the video. Akon?! You dress like that and you name yourself Lady GaGa and then you collaborate with AKON?! Somewhere Goldfrapp is rolling over in her grave (except that she's not dead, but just go with it). Something smells fishy about this whole package. I want to like her and I like the idea of her, but don't label it one way and then serve it up with a side of Akon. I'm going to be patient with this one, but if I hear anymore of this pop drivel she's going into the permanent WTF files.

Happy weekend!

quality control...

Recently overshadowed by the news of Chris Brown's major meltdown was another R&B artist's hospital visit. Usher's wife and baby mama, Tameka Foster, was in Brazil having "routine plastic surgery" when she suffered cardiac and respiratory arrest due to "complications." Reports say she was having liposuction and I just have to wonder why someone would go all the way to South America for lipo?!? Could the wife of Usher Raymond be feeling the pinch of the ecomonic crisis along with the rest of us?? Maybe she can't afford to use the best Beverly Hills has to offer! Somehow I highly doubt that! Maybe she wanted to stay out of the public eye post surgery...isn't that what they have high-priced private recovery centers for?!? And it's not like she was getting a nose job where she'd need to be bandaged, it was just lipo which I have to assume was necessary due to the recent birth of her 5th child. I'm no expert on Brazil's medical certification standards but I have seen Dateline NBC and seeing some chick get a breast augmentation for $3500.00 and ending up with only one breast was enough to scare me from ever wanting to cross the border to save a few bucks. I'm all for saving a few dollars, you know, buy your fake Gucci bag, import your viagra from Canada but when it comes to plastic surgery don't you want to consider quality first?!? I'm certainly planning to have my share of plastic surgery in the future after I've had kids and my ta-tas are inevitably drooping to my knees but I think I'll save up the extra 4000.00 and stay stateside, not worth it!! We've seen what bad plastic surgery can do...i.e., the former Michael Jackson to the right here....don't risk it!

Oh hell to the no Chris Brown

I have never been a fan of Chris Brown in anyway, but I have to say that if anyone still is after this debacle, there is something wrong with them. The most recent update I just heard on E! News (so maybe I had it on while eating dinner!) said that Rihanna called 911 after he beat her up in his car AND then he ran off on foot with the car keys leaving her all alone in the middle of the street! Apparently, she had bite marks on her arm and bruises all over her face. There aren't words. First of all, I never understood why someone as beautiful as Rihanna was dating that 19 year old cabbage patch looking Michael Jackson wannabe. Now he's getting all Ike Turner on her! I hope to god she dumps his nasty ass pronto, follows through on the criminal charges, and makes sure his career is dead in the water.

This guys just sucks. (that's for you Aaron and Dave since you told me that saying "that guy sucks" is the worst thing you can say about a guy)

The Chop...

Poor poor men. When it comes to commenting on a girl's hair, you can do no right. You are guilty until proven innocent and I've come to realize how unfair it is. Nick, my wonderful, sensitive, super observant husband once told me the best advice he ever got from his Dad was to just try and say as little as possible when a girl asks what you think of her hair. After last week I can see why!! About a year before Nick and I started dating, (nearly 7 years ago!) I cut my hair to about shoulder length (following a break up with an ex boyfriend of course because that's what girls do!) and from that point on I've pretty much been growing it out in various styles. Every girl I know wants long hair for her wedding so once that was officially on the horizon it was nothing but baby trims for my every-7-weeks salon appointments. About 6 months before the wedding I grew tired of the maintenance of my long, thick hair and started talking about how I couldn't wait to cut it after the the wedding. Well the big day came and went and I was thrilled to have the long hair I'd always dreamt of but I was still set on the big chop in the near future. With two August weddings on bridesmaid detail I kept my long hair so that it would be easier to pull back into formal hairdo's. By Fall I had no good excuse except fear of what it would look like so I went to three more appointments and again kept it long.

Well something about trying to survive the monotony of Michigan winters inspired me recently, so with a Rachel Ray magazine in hand I went to my trusted hair goddess, Alex, and asked her to perform the grueling hair surgery last week. I tried not to notice as years of growing my hair out fell in short, fast snippets to the ground. It was scary and liberating at the same time. Now I know it's only hair, really I do...but there's a lot of security wrapped up in a girl's hair and once you're used to a style it can be scary to change it so drastically. I went home with mixed feelings about my new, slightly-longer-then-chin-length style and right away Nick said how much he adored it. For no good reason I got defensive and said he "had to say that" and that while it was cute, I didn't feel as pretty or sexy without my long hair. He then tried to tell me how wrong I was and how it wasn't my hair that makes me sexy but I just continued to argue with him. In retrospect his Dad was so right! Here he was trying to shower me with compliments and I was disagreeing with him!! Thinking back I recalled a few times when I'd gotten something subtle done to my hair and he hadn't noticed right away and I was upset by his lack of observation and yet here he was trying to be super sweet about it when he did notice and I told him to stop talking about it! How freaking neurotic is that!?! I wish I could give you guys some advice but I just don't think girls, (or at least me!), are capable of being rational about this topic. What I can do is tell you not to take it personally and abide by Nick's rule of trying to say as little as possible while still pointing out that you've noticed a change. Best of luck and we'd love to hear your stories of hair comments gone horribly wrong!

Hottie of the Weekend!

Happy Saturday everyone! I don't have much time today because I'm getting my hair did in about an hour, but I know everyone has been waiting patiently for this week's hottie. I just learned about this hottie actually being a hottie this past summer. I'm sure he's always been hot, but I had never celebrated his work before Dark Knight came out. Now I am in full celebration mode. Christian Bale is my perfect combination of man - hot, British, and, just recently, a huge D Bag. LOVE IT. Has everyone heard his amazing f bomb laden rant from the set of Terminator Salvation? It's probably one of his best performances. The anger, the fluent use of foul language, the stamina to make it last 5 whole minutes! I'm speechless. If you haven't heard it, please do, but be warned that I'm not kidding about the f bombs - I wouldn't listen to it at work or while babysitting.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/02/bale-went-ballistic/

He WILL trash those lights! If there was a video to go along with it, I'm thinking instant Oscar material. I can't imagine that the actual Terminator movie is going to be better than this. So there you have it. I really need to run now or these roots will continue growing out until I'm officially a brunette.

I promise longer posts early next week. If someone would just pay me to do this, I'd have a novel written already.

He's looking Haggard

Ok! Let's move on, shall we?! I'm sure you've all at least heard bits and pieces of the Ted Haggard story (I actually think The Ted Haggard Story is an HBO movie). I just read a transcript of part of the Larry King interview with Haggard and his wife Mrs. Haggard and am left scratching my head. Now if you aren't totally up-to-date on this scandal, here is a brief breakdown from what I gather:

- Haggard was the head pastor of New Life Church in Colorado Springs (megachurch, made $150k a year, big shot among big shot church guys, lives in a 700k home)
- Married since 1978 with FIVE children
- Has condemned homosexuality, apparently visited gay bars to bring men to his congregation
- Dethroned in 2006 amidst sex scandal involving male prostitute and crystal meth
- Accused of paying the prostitute for sex once a month for three years, he even tipped (that's 36 booty calls)
- Admitted to most of the allegations and went straight to therapy.
- Asked for donations so him and his wife could go back to college
- Currently selling insurance

Ok, so. In this Larry King interview that was on last week, his wife sat by his side and professed her undying love and admiration for him. That's fine, he's a very lucky man. I guess what I'm confused about is his...you know...official status. His wife swears they have a very normal sex life and apparently 99% of his sexual experiences were with her. Do the ones where he was on crystal meth not count? That's really the only way I can understand how 3 years of prostitute visits only account for 1%. Not to mention how another man has come forward recently to say that Pastor Ted "knew himself" in the biblical sense in front of him. But I digress. Ted has labeled himself "heterosexual with complications." I've never seen this option for orientation on any one's facebook or myspace page, so it's definitely a first for me. While I agree that visiting a prostitute and taking crystal meth could lead to various complications, something tells me he's really skirting the issue here. I guess I just find it messed up and sad that he's still in denial after all of this. I always wonder why women stand by their cheating husbands, whether they cheat with men, women, or drug induced crystal meth sessions with prostitutes. Mrs. Haggard had the following to say when asked why she stayed with Ted:
"To restore honor to our children, the best thing I could do is help restore honor to their father."

Does that scream martyr to anyone else?! Is she giving up her happiness and self-worth to remain married to a man who disgraced their family and lied to her for 30 years? I'm sure her children are her #1 concern, but why is it her DUTY to restore his honor that he royally f'd up? I am just really perplexed by this whole situation from the religious implications to the lies and deceit and the nagging question of why was he making 150k a year in the first place? (That brings up a whole other issue I have about pastor's salaries...anyone else think that a salary cap sounds like a good idea for this profession? I mean I know it's not "fair" to limit any one's earning potential, but I've always been personally wary of Men of God that are making serious bank - or if they are really really tan and wear gold jewelry - won't mention names, but I've known one or two of these).

So, I guess I'm just curious what you all think. Is he gay? Is he a complex straight person? Does he just want to party? What would you do if you were married to him? Should people be allowed to start churches in their basement?

Feel free to rant!

Sports Desk...

Nick and I hosted a small "Big Game" party yesterday and had a great time with the friends who were able to join us. I'd been thinking all weekend of something to write about since I hadn't written in several days and nothing was inspiring me. I figured I could write about the game like I have before, giving the highlights and funny things I noticed but I had no idea on Saturday if it was going to be a good game or not. So I was out to dinner at my favorite wine bar in Plymouth with Lisa, Debbie, and Alicia when an idea as brilliant as I could ever hope for hit me like a gigantic bolt of lightening!! Lisa asked Deb where she was planning to watch the game and commented that she was rooting for Arizona instead of the Philadelpha Penguins, I corrected her small tiny sports confusion, (i.e., the PITTSBURGH Penguins are a NHL hockey team) and we all had a good laugh at her comment. I thought her comment was funny, Deb and Alicia had a good laugh, and from there the wheels started turning. Yesterday afternoon, before the majority of people arrived, I requested Nick and Zach's assistance in my plot for a potentially brilliant blog. I had no idea at the time if my plan would pan out but I saw the potential and with the help of the two guys, recorded every silly, funny, Superbowl related quote that came out of Lisa's mouth, without her knowing. So, it is with great pride, and hopefully a friendship and blog partnership still in tact, (Love you Lease!), that I present to you...

Lisa's Take on the Big Game:

Pregame:

6:02 “I’m excited because Matt Leinart is the backup quarterback”

6:03 p.m. “I’ve chosen the Arizona Cardinals tonight. I’ve been to Arizona ... and they probably have more attractive people.” (Self explanatory)

6:08 “They don’t know who’s starting yet?? Is it like a surprise??” (On the starting lineups, a little confused there)

6:08 “Do they play inside or outside??”

6:20 “If they say their high school, does that mean they didn’t go to college?” (On the starting lineup's bio's)

1st Quarter:
6:32: What's with all this penetration?? (On the broadcasters commentary about how well the defense was able to penetrate the offensive line)

6:45 "It's, like, two guys with long hair hitting each other." (Followed a giggle over watching a guy tackle an opponent)


7:01 -"I just want to tickle them until they smile." (On why the players don't smile in pictures or their starting lineup bio's)

2nd Quarter:
7:18 “He was running right at him ... right?”

7:23 “It’s also nighttime and they’re wearing that black stuff on their faces ... is that for fashion?” (On the eye black)

7:25 “This is, like, vintage” (during highlights being shown of Kurt Warner from two weeks ago)


7:29 “He needs a towel” (Harrison’s face was sweaty)


7:48 “He has a great perky booty ... you could bounce a quarter off of that... tight ass and long flowing hair.” (Larry Fitzgerald)


7:49 “#11. Snake eyes.” (Commenting on Fitzgerald's number, last time I checked a 2 was a snake eyes on a roll of the dice)

Halftime:
7:55 “Bruce is pissed right now. Springsteen.”

3rd Quarter:
8:47 “What happens when they get a foul?”

8:51 “So, a fumble it’s like a hot potato. Huh?” (On a fumble recovery)

9:01 “Oh! What happens there?” (On a kickoff that required a touchback)

9:03 “She’s like a Chia Pet. He’s been watering her every night.” (On the hairgrowth of Kurt Warner's wife)

9:04 “Nobody would watch it” (in response to my idea that she needs her own “radio show” for all this genius commentary)

4th Quarter:
9:14 “Rod Hood: He was up to no good” (for no good reason)

9:19 “I like the Willies!” (On the funniest football names)

“9:39” “It looks like a body part” (On a piece of paper that flew onto the field)

9:58 “What is that magical pole?” (goal post)

So there you have it folks, we had a good time laughing with her yesterday and I figured it might be funny to some of our readers as well, hopefully she'll still speak to me after this!