Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! We just wrapped up the gift-giving part of the holiday celebration here at the family home. I made out really well this year, so thanks to my parents for only having one of me. I can finally truly say that I know where I'm going now when I get behind the wheel, thanks to my new Garmin GPS device. No more hours spent driving in circles trying to find places I've been a thousand times! This is really a blessing in a cute little box. I didn't get the Soprano's box set, but I did get The Godfather Coppola Restoration DVD's...fair trade! I'm a sucker for those crazy Italians. My parents were very happy with their gifts and I think my mom especially enjoyed the 20 piece Rubbermaid TupperWare set I gave her. No more leftovers will come home with me in those melted Boston Market containers! OK, so maybe it was a gift for both of us. Anyways, I hope you all are having a very merry day!

My mom and I are going to whip up something delicious for dinner, and then go see Tom Cruise doing his worst German impression in Valkyrie. Nothing says Christmas like a movie about assassinating Hitler! Best to you all and don't forget the rum in that eggnog.

The Gift that Keeps Giving

I'm Too Tired to Party - The Celebrity Exhaustion Epidemic

It's a sad day in celebrity party land. They've lost another to the horrific epidemic that is and has been sweeping this country coast to coast. Yes, I'm referring to the dreaded Exhaustion. It usually strikes the young Hollywood set at the peak of their party days and doesn't let up until they have received thorough treatment at either the Beverly Hills hospital or the spa/resort rehabilitation center. They work so hard on their craft that they barely have time to drink a glass of water or ingest a sandwich. Sadly this leads to severe dehydration, malnutrition, insomnia, and the final phase rib protrusion.

The most recent victim of Celebrity Exhaustion is none other than celebrity DJ Samantha Ronson aka Lindsay Lohan's lesbian phase girlfriend. Poor Poor Samantha. With her demanding DJ schedule what was to be expected?! She flies back and forth across the country, with only a first class lounge chair to rest her weary head on. Then she is supposed to muster the energy to attend the various parties and social gatherings where she works so hard playing other people's music. The horror! Not only does she have to push buttons, look bored, and accept free drinks all at the same time...she also has to keep the wandering eye of her attached at the hip gf Lindsay in line. This could go on until 4 or 5 in the morning! No wonder the poor thing is exhausted and needs some serious drug-induced sleep. If I were her, I would up my DJ fee from $25,000 per gig to at least 6 figures. Any job where you experience this much pain and suffering should pay off big time.

I guess we have to give it to Samantha for actually showing up for work though. She could just cancel all of her gigs like Entourage star Jeremy Piven. Jeremy recently dropped out of the Broadway production of "Speed-the-Plow" because of his own personal Exhaustion struggle. Sure Jeremy had enough energy just a couple weeks ago to attend Britney Spears bday party, several strip clubs, and various late night festivities, but exhaustion strikes when you least expect it. These celebs run themselves down so much with all of their social demands that who can expect them to honor a commitment to something as unimportant as being the lead actor in a Broadway play? Sure the play has lost hundreds of thousands of dollars since his departure last week, but the guy is sick. If you haven't heard the complete story, it seems that he became exhausted after eating too much sushi. Now I've had my fair share of sushi, and yes it is a very tiring experience. Sometimes the pieces are so large you can barely fit them in your mouth. Then you have serious chewing to undertake, followed by a large swallow or two. I won't even get into the drowsiness I feel after using too much wasabi...those tears don't come for free. Jeremy is a known sushi-fanatic so I can completely understand that if he was eating this Japanese favorite two, maybe three times a day he had to be seriously tuckered out! I'd put my money on him not being able to lift chop sticks for at least a few more weeks.

So there you have it. Celebrity Exhaustion has taken down two more of our greatest artists at the prime of their careers. I can only hope that they find some rest and relaxation at one of the many tropical island resorts that take in these poor souls over the holidays. My best to both of them and wishes for a speedy recovery!

The Year in Dating - 2008

Well, here we are readers. I know I've left you hanging about my dating life. I'm sure you've been anxiously awaiting another installment of "WTF is her problem" aka my eHarmony updates. Wait no more! I woke up today a ball of inspiration and am ready to dish.

This has been an interesting year in my dating life. I've really settled into it now and don't actually remember what being in a relationship is like...long term memory fades at 27. Words of wisdom from my previous landlord come flooding back to me: Don't stay single in your own place for too long...you'll never be able to live with someone once you're set in your ways. I, of course, laughed it off...I'm an only child so this "not able to live with someone" thing comes natural to me. But I never really understood what he meant until I spent a few years living completely on my own...no roomies, no man around the house, just me and my bulldog companion Lola. I kill spiders, I curse loudly and kill those horrific millipede things, I take out the garbage, and yes, I spent two hours digging my car out of the snow on Friday. All signs of what Destiny's Child refer to as "Independent Women." I even pay my Bills, Bills, Bills. I pride myself on this fact and at the same time realize it could really be hampering my romantic life.

I've had a busy year by my own dating standards. I've given it a shot with blind dates, online dates, friend hook-up dates, somehow I stumbled into this dates, and my favorite: are we on a date? dates. I think I averaged a 3 or 4 date maximum with these gentlemen and each ended in basically the same way but with varying levels of story-telling quality. Some were hilarious and educational such as the gentlemen who wined and dined me at the most expensive restaurant in Detroit, gave me roses for myself and my dog, and then tested my bill paying ability on the second date. I have absolutely no problem picking up the tab, but I don't think the phrase, "why don't you go ahead and get that so I can see how you react" should ever come into play in polite conversation.

Some situations were sad and confusing and some were over before it began. Through it all though I've come to realize something about myself. I won't compromise. I don't mean I won't compromise on what restaurant we're going to, or I won't compromise on the fact that he doesn't LOVE Brit Pop as much as I do, etc. It's very simple but at the same time the most frustrating thing EVER. I won't compromise on the connection. I've tried calling it chemistry, but usually get that look from my friends that says "you know you've lost it right?"...so let's go with connection. It's gotta be there almost immediately or it's just not going to happen for me. I don't have the patience or desire to go through 25 dates and all that entails if I'm not jumping out of my skin excited about it. So that brings us to the present day and my most recent debacle of online dating.

I found a cute guy who had a very normal profile. I figured I might as well get my money's worth, so gave it a shot. We quizzed each other via the multiple choice questionnaire, sent an intro email so we could check out each other's grammar skills, and then decided to take the plunge and meet up in actual real life person. Drinks, dinner, and a movie ensued and before I knew it I was on date number 4! This is a giant deal by my dating standards, so at this point everyone in my life is wondering what exactly is going on. Am I about to figure it all out? Be invited to the couples party?! Cash in my crazy chips? I tried to downplay the situation fully knowing how these things have ended the past 12 years. Sure enough after a few more dates, it was decision-making time. Did I want to continue down the road to relationship land (a scary and foreign destination) or get back to basics and my reality TV problem? On paper this guy was a total catch: cute, gainfully employed, educated, charitable, sweet, not a country music fan, etc. So why not give it a shot? Well, it just wasn't there...and by it I mean it. I've tried to define the elusive "it" and how it's usually missing from my equations, but there is no physical manifestation of "it." It is the connection, the romance, the (get ready) chemistry. It's what separates your guy friends from your guy. It's those stupid little butterflies and that thing that makes you forget that he has a receding hairline or doesn't like Thai food or doesn't put the cap back on the freaking toothpaste. It's what makes you want to be around him all the time and not push him out the door or end your date at 10pm on a Saturday night. It's the difference between kissing him and kissing that guy at that bar in Las Vegas. It means something.

So what am I trying to say? I think I'm trying to say that I'm happy. Maybe my landlord was right and I have become set in my ways, but I really really enjoy my ways. And I now know that the only thing that's going to allow me to share that with someone is that connection. Otherwise I've got books to read, reality TV to watch, and friends to hang out with. So here's to 2008...a very interesting and educational year. I can't complain!

BK Flame

Burger King is on a roll. From commercials pranking people about discontinuing offering the Whopper to their new spots which follow a documentary style camera crew in search of people who have never tried a Whopper or as they call it, "whopper virgins" they've captured today's edgy/random/controversial humor in their advertising. So when I saw a link halfway down the home page of msn.com entitled "meat-scented cologne" I had to click and find out more. Sure enough BK has done it again, they've created a viral advertising campaign based on a real joke cologne and it's described as, "Behold the scent of seduction, with a hint of flame broiled meat." Check out the link below and follow through the prompts, I don't want to ruin the ending but it's pretty hilarious. Must be popular because it's completely sold out at the one store where it's featured! Make sure you have the sound on because the music is crucial to the video!

http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/

Christmas Chuckle

Good morning, is everyone else as excited as I am to have extra days off next week? Sure I'm excited for the festivities but boy can I use a few days off...especially in this bleak auto industry climate. Well I think I found something sure to brighten everyone's spirits with a little Christmas humor. I've referenced the Christmas Claymation Special on the blog once before, commenting on the likeness between of of Lisa's ex's and the host Rex (who's at the end of this clip), and Nick and I found ourselves watching the episode last weekend and were astounded with how funny it is every single time! The humor is timeless, the claymation is classic, it's totally genius and never gets old! Some of you have probably seen this part, but it's probably been awhile since it was first aired when VHS was all the rage. For those of you who haven't seen it, enjoy and if you like it you can search more of the episode on Youtube after. My favorite part is when the dumb bell throws his mallet over the back and tries to steal his neighbors...funny, funny stuff. Merry Christmas!!

Count Your Blessings

A few years ago I stumbled upon a photo blog of Metro Detroit's homeless population. Sounds horrible right? Well, it is horrible because these poor people are homeless and cold, but it's also kinda fascinating. This isn't some kind of sick and twisted paparazzi fueled site...it's more like giving these people an actual face and name. As anyone who has visited a big city knows, there are homeless people living on the streets. We know they are there and we assume we know WHY they are there, but we really don't care about their stories or their names or what they think about the current state of politics. We walk by or maybe give them a couple bucks or have some innocent drunken chatter with them...sometimes they clean your windshield. So when I found the website The Snowsuit Effort, I was instantly hooked. This local photographer named Ryan started the site in 2004 with the intention of capturing the people that inhabit the streets and alleys of Metro Detroit. It hasn't been updated since February 2007, but for almost three years he took a different person's photo almost every day. Each photo is accompanied by a random quote from the person; topics range from why they are homeless, to what music they are listening to, to how they are the best beat boxer since the Fat Boys.

It's a bit depressing, so if you like to keep it light and fluffy during the holidays, you've been warned. I just think it's a cool site and a solid use of someone's time.

www.snowsuit.net